Prayer Letter: Our Last Year

November 5, 2010
Dear Family and Friends,
I haven’t written a prayer letter in over a year although I’ve sent out many email updates. Thanks for being patient with me. I hope this gives you a glimpse into our first year without Ryan.
August 1, 2009 was a Saturday and Levi needed new jeans. We got a babysitter for Chloe and Seth so that we could take Caleb and Levi to the used clothes market. The market is one of the boy’s favorite places because we never know what we would find. Ryan knew that Frank had a short flight using one of the airplanes that Ryan maintains. After several phone calls trying to trouble shoot a problem, Ryan decided to go into the hangar and help Frank out. They ended up switching airplanes. It was to be a 30 minute flight around Nairobi and Ryan probably volunteered to wait until Frank returned and help him put the airplane away so both could get home to their families for the rest of the weekend. Knowing Frank, he probably asked Ryan to hop on board and see Nairobi from the air. That’s what Tiffany (Frank’s wife) and I think happened knowing our husbands the way we do.
Tiffany and I are neighbors, we both have 4 kids. She has 3 girls and then an adopted Kenyan son. I have 3 boys and an adopted Kenyan daughter. The similarities continue. We are the best of friends, closer now than ever.
During the flight, the airplane lost power and flipped as it landed. Frank was killed instantly, Ryan was seriously hurt, and the 2 passengers escaped with minor injuries. I was able to get to the hospital a half an hour before Ryan was put on a respirator. What a blessing it became that I could talk to him, even though he was in shock and the ER was chaotic. He made sure his wedding ring was not lost; we shared how much we loved each other and the kids. That was the last time he could talk to me. Within a couple of days, he was transferred to a South African Burn Unit. He died on August 7. My good friend Chris was with him when he went to heaven. She talked to him and sang to him and released him for me. Ryan would not have wanted me to leave the kids and be with him in South Africa until I could take the kids with me. I did fly down the day he died and said goodbye to his earthly body. Another blessing.
The next week we had memorial services for Frank and Ryan. Then we traveled to the states for 10 weeks to be with more friends and family as we grieved. We remembered Ryan in services in Michigan and Florida. In November we went home to Kenya. It was such a comfort to live there for 8 more months. Tiffany did the same and our lives continued to run parallel to each other. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone but to travel this road with such a good friend is a relief. We can comfort each other like no one else can.
The holidays were tough but our missionary family surrounded us and loved us through it. I realized that I couldn’t continue to home school my kids. In January Caleb and Levi started at a missionary school which was a hard transition. We really liked home schooling.
Ryan and I had completed the Kenyan adoption process and Chloe is legally ours. But we needed to do the US citizen application through the Department of Home Land Security. When Ryan died, I became the primary applicant and had to start over with some major paperwork including our home study. This was deeply painful for me to do on my own. But it was approved May 7, 2010.
I spent all my time and energy on helping the kids with school, adoption paperwork, counseling for us all and putting our paperwork in order with me as a single mom. I was angry and I used my anger to energize me to get it done. The kids watched me put our personal possessions in storage and pack our suitcases to travel to the states for a year. Our year of Home Assignment (furlough) began in June 2010. We’ve earned a year because our term was over 4 years long.
Over the summer we stayed with my parents who took over meeting my kid’s needs so I could buy a house. It’s a nice house on a cul-da-sac in Zeeland MI. My kids had an amazing summer with lots of good memories with my parents. I worked hard to get our house furnished and we moved in on August 1. Two missionary families from Kenya came and spent the day with us and celebrated Caleb’s 9th birthday and Ryan’s 1st birthday in heaven.
At the end of the summer all my kids started school at Zeeland Christian School. Caleb is a second grader, Levi is in first grade, Seth is in Young Fives, and Chloe attends preschool. I feel like we are all trying so hard to make this work. And we are trying to grieve well. But we are deeply sad. To have 5 people grieving at the same time but each on our own journey makes our home life bumpy. We are all fragile and we melt down easily. It’s so good to let it out. We talk about Ryan as much as we want.
In October we all realized how homesick we are for Kenya. It makes sense since it’s been 5 months since we left. We miss our old house, friends, pets, and all that brings us familiarity with Ryan. And being homesick is something that most missionaries experience when they are on HA.
Taking care of my kids continues to be a full time job. My responsibilities as a missionary with Africa Inland Mission (AIM) are to visit churches and friends that support us. I prepared to visit churches and couldn’t do it. Something within me was deeply resistant. It’s Ryan. We enjoyed doing this together and its one more thing that I don’t want to do alone. But I’ve started and will continue to contact churches and friends. This letter is the next step of sharing what we did this last term.
Ryan and I served for over 7 years with AIM AIR, the aviation branch of AIM. Ryan accomplished his work as an aircraft mechanic with excellence and I am so proud of him. I loved being a stay-at-home mom and homeschooling our kids. I’d do it all over again if I had the chance.
That is our past and present. God continues to guide us. We will finish our HA in May 2011. AIM is encouraging me to take my time deciding about our future. One possibility that Ryan would have liked is to stay with AIM and work at Rift Valley Academy (RVA). This is a missionary boarding school an hour from where we currently live in Nairobi. The school has a Student Health Center which is in need of nurses that have their Kenyan Nursing Registration. I did the work of getting this registration when I first moved to Kenya as a single missionary and kept it current (like I do with my nursing license in the USA). We would move our personal belongings and a lot of our old memories to our new house on the school campus. I would walk to work and my kids would walk to class. It’s flexible and I would have the support of our house-help, Wanza, who wants to move with us. Wanza has been taking care of our family for 8 years and is more like an Aunt to my kids. She would bring some consistency to our lives.
A second option is to extend our stay in the states for a second year. This would give my kids two full years in the same school, same house, and being close to my family. After too many transitions, we need consistency and stability. AIM would change my status from being on Home Assignment to a Leave of Absence. I wouldn’t be receiving monthly support in this status, instead funds received through AIM would accrue until we went back to Kenya. Seth and Chloe will still be attending school only half days as a kindergartner and Young Fiver. I don’t know how I could work part time or full time and accommodate their schedule.
Really, it’s up to God to figure out. He took my husband to heaven and I am relying on him as never before to take care of me as a widow. And take care of my children who are fatherless. I don’t know what God is going to do. He might have a third option that he will not show me until it is time. Let’s hope so. Because I am tired of trying to figure it out. I can’t. It’s impossible.
Every day I feel like my life is impossible. I think, how am I going to do this? And yet the sun goes down only to rise again. Our ashes will be turned into something beautiful and our joy will come in the morning.
I’m not going to write out prayer praises and request. You are intuitive enough to read this and find what God wants you to pray for us. We will continue to need monthly financial support as long as we are with AIM. If our status with AIM changes, I will let you know. After Ryan’s death hundreds of people poured their love and concern on us by giving to a memorial fund that is through AIM. Thank you. This year, the last thing I want to worry about is money. And God is providing. We are about $500 under supported each month. If you would like to give, please contact me or AIM.


May God bless you and keep you, as he keeps me,
Dawn Williams

Africa Inland Mission
PO Box 178
Pearl River NY 10965
Phone # 1 (800) 254-0010


Dawn Williams
44 Winterhalder Dr.
Zeeland MI 49464
(616) 990-8181

Our Saturday

Summer Update

It’s been too long since I wrote. I’m going to back track to May.

My brother, Dean, flew to Nairobi the end of May to help me finish packing and give me the moral support I needed to persevere with Chloe’s paperwork. Chloe’s visa was granted and we flew from Kenya to Michigan the beginning of June. The kids and I are staying with my parents in Holland MI for the summer.

My parents and sisters made sure my kids are having a great summer. The kids haven’t quite worn out the grass driving circles around the house in go-carts. They are busy camping, swimming, fishing, and relaxing. Since my family took over child care, I’ve been free to house hunt.

I am buying a ranch house a block from the kids school in Zeeland MI. After Ryan died, I received Life Insurance money and the kids receive Social Security Survivor Benefits each month. I used the life insurance as my down payment and the survivor benefits will cover my monthly house payment. The house is a good investment for our future and it’s a buyer’s market. We plan to live in it for a year while we are in the states. When we return to Kenya, I want to make my house available for other missionaries to stay in.

I want to share this with you, to explain that I am keeping my AIM monthly salary for our living expenses separate from my investments into our new home (life insurance and SS). We still need our supporters prayers and gifts.

Having our own home is bitter sweet. It is a sweet, extravagant blessing to have our own home in the states. My folks and my sisters all live about 10 minutes away. The kids can walk to school every day. And I have guest space for my in-laws to stay with us when they visit. But it’s bitter to be moving into a home with no memories of Ryan walking around barefoot. I miss him moving all these heavy boxes for me. And I deeply miss bickering and bantering with him when we get in each other’s way as we unpack and decide where everything should go. He was the best at relieving the stress in my life and making me laugh.

We will be moving in August 1 (the day of the accident and Frank’s death). Ryan’s parents are driving from NC to help us move. They will be with us for Caleb’s birthday and the first anniversary of Ryan’s death on August 7.

Caleb and Levi start school on August 31. They’ve been tutored over the summer at the school. Unexpectedly taking the fall semester off from school last year was best for us, but the boys are still catching up. Seth and Chloe start young 5’s and preschool September 13. Seth is ready but Chloe has separation anxiety to deal with. All the kids are attending Zeeland Christian School only a block away from our house.

I’ve had lots of doctors appointments over the summer. My Grave’s Disease (hyperthyroidism) is being well managed with medication. I am scheduled to have my pesky gall bladder removed on August 10. I have other diagnosis that I’ve decided not to share. So physically, I just don’t feel good. But I am taking care of myself. The kids are doing great, all had physicals and are growing like crazy.

Spiritually, we are attending a church that is good for us. We sit with my sister and the kids can go to children’s church. I found a ladies Bible Study to join in the fall.

Emotionally, we are all tired. And it shows. All the transitions of moving from Kenya to my folks house to our own house went well. But the kids have meltdowns etc. Moving into our own home and starting a new school will give us the routine that we need. And some rest, I hope.

Financially, we continue to need monthly support through AIM. We will be in the states for 12 months as our planned Home Assignment (furlough). In October I will be available to travel and talk about where God is taking us next. And sharing our need to raise additional support.

God is meeting our needs each day. I look ahead and wonder how I will ever get through it. But we do, day by day.

Letter from Oma: Dawn's health

Hello to all of you from Kenya,

My mom is writing this and I chose to blog it.

Since before Christmas Dawn has not been feeling physically well, she contributed a lot of it to the stress of grieving, but two weeks ago she started getting some testing done and found out she has gall stones and over active thyroid. This was found out after many blood test, ultra sound and C Scans. This Friday she is going to have a final test to find out how bad her gall bladder is inflamed.
Her symptoms for the gall bladder are aches all over and feeling yucky in general. The symptoms of the thyroid problems are being very warm all the time, headaches, and not sleeping well at night. The most effective way to control gall bladder problems is to go on a fat free diet. Being on a fat free diet is not a cure rather a way to control, most people who follow the fat free diet eventually have their gall bladder removed. She has been advised by Doctors and Nurses in Kenya to have it removed.

So, the current plan that is being set in motion is to have her gall bladder removed in South Africa. South Africa has a state of the art hospital and highly skilled Doctors. Dawn was very impressed with Ryan’s care in the South Africa hospital. Dawn is a high risk surgical candidate because of her burst appendix and all the infections and two major surgeries she had 5 years ago. All her symptoms are on the right side of her body where lots of adhesions would have formed after her surgery. She is hopeful the surgeons in S. Africa can do the simple procedure for removal of G.B. but if it is too hard to get to then she would have a incision and have a longer period of recovery.

I (Darlene) arrived on Jan. 15 and planned on staying until February 28, with these health problems that need to be addressed I think I will stay here until March 25. Hopefully Dawn will have surgery the first week of March and be able to fly home soon after. Please keep her in your prayers.

I will stay with the kids in Nairobi, keeping the kids in school and the house hold running. They need continuity which I can bring. Dawn will be free to go to South Africa for surgery and recovery. AIM has missionaries there that lend support. She is considering who can travel with her and be her advocate.

On a happy note, Caleb and Levi are attending West Nairobi Chr. School. Levi is in kindergarten and Caleb in second grade. They are enjoying the school environment and doing well. Seth and Chloe are going to preschool four mornings a week and learning lots of new things. We love to hear all the stories the kids have when they come home from school.

Dawn plans on returning to the US in June and will spend one year on home assignment before future years in Kenya. She plans on returning to Kenya and is looking at different ministries in the Nairobi area. This is their home and this is where they want to be.
Please feel free to forward this message to anyone you think would be interested.

Thanks for all your prayers and concerns. Darlene, Dawn, and children

First day of School

January 12 is the first day of school for Caleb in 2nd grade and Levi in kindergarten.

Eager beavers

New Back Packs full of new school supplies

Christmas at the Coast

We went to the coast for a week over Christmas and stayed at a 3 bedroom villa. We went with Dale and Chris Hamilton, John and Heather Miller, Josh Hamilton, and Wanza. It was nice to be apart of a larger a family. And to have the adults out number the kids at the pool and in the ocean.

John, Heather, and Josh

Levi in the pool

John and Seth

Caleb and Levi in the surf

Stockings



Wanza

Opening Presents

Super soakers for the pool

Out for Ice Cream on Christmas Day

Wanza and Chris

Christmas Dinner at the poolside

Christmas in Nairobi

Decorating the Christmas Tree

Stockings

Setting up the Wii and then testing it



Ladies blessing Tiffany and I

Making Christmas Cookies with the Kellers

Christmas breakfast, Levi slept in.

Opening dinner with the Gibsons